A-Z
- Addiction: Addiction (n.) Something you can stop anytime you want to, only you never want to. [confusion mind] (1219931942|%O ago)
- Africa: Africa (n.) A large continent that acts as a prison for most of the world's poor black people. [disease power prison trade] (1217680268|%O ago)
- Airport: Airport (n.) A large building designed to be as inconvenient and unpleasant as possible for passengers departing on, or arriving from, aircraft. [oil stupidity] (1212915435|%O ago)
- Artificial intelligence: Artificial intelligence (n.) The extension of collective intelligence using technological solutions. [mind society] (1212945703|%O ago)
- Backup: Backup (n.) Like experience, something you don't have when you actually need it. [stupidity technology] (1219934516|%O ago)
- Baldness: Baldness (adj.) The loss of hair on the aged male head, signifying advanced age and corresponding wisdom, specifically to younger males. Premature balding is a mimicry by younger, smarter males of their older peers for the sake of gaining political power earlier. [hair male marketing power] (1212924846|%O ago)
- Battery: Battery (n.) Portable civilization. [technology] (1219934561|%O ago)
- Beard: Beard (n.) A hairy covering of the lower part of the adult male face that reduces the noise-to-signal ratio of the facial area. The result is to make hairy adult males look more like other hairy adult males. [genes hair male violence] (1212924911|%O ago)
- Beauty: Beauty (n.). In women, an aspect that makes them socially mobile. In objects, high levels of useful functionality, relative to the observer's needs. [female hair male sex] (1212943747|%O ago)
- Beer: Beer (n.). A mildly alcoholic beverage invented by adult male humans in historical times when they got tired of eating moldy bread. [female male sex] (1212946023|%O ago)
- Bitchtorrent: Bitchtorrent (n.) The peer-to-peer protocol that women use to exchange information, more politely called "bluetoothing". [communications female] (1242806517|%O ago)
- Blue-egging: Blue-egging (v.) Refers to a form of obsessive behaviour wherein technically-oriented people will focus on solving unnecessarily complex technical problems for no real reason, and in favor of real work. [communications male pr0n] (1212782598|%O ago)
- Bluetoothing: Bluetoothing (v.) The communication pattern by which two, or rarely, three, mature human females will synchronize their mental data sets using wireless acoustic signals to trade units of knowledge and information in a private setting. [communications female] (1212782898|%O ago)
- Boyfriend: Boyfriend (n.): banned, tolerated, accepted, and finally embarrassing. [gene power] (1242560445|%O ago)
- Breasts: Breasts (n.) Twin fatty deposits on the chest of the mature human female. The purpose of breasts is to attract males by indicating fertility and availability. [sex] (1212917787|%O ago)
- Burnout: Burnout (n.) A post-traumatic stress disorder caused by excessive investment in an imbalanced project. [pain] (1223577595|%O ago)
- Bush-whacked: Bush-whacked (adj.) Severely damaged due to malign larceny disguised as incompetence. Also, "Bushed". [epicfail] (1232133503|%O ago)
- Business: Business (n.) (1) The art of hating your suppliers, destroying your competitors, and despising your customers in the pursuit of profits. (2) War in suits. [money] (1219934579|%O ago)
- Cactus: Cactus (n.) A plant designed to show why jumping into everything you see is not a good idea. [pain] (1218885443|%O ago)
- Car: Car (n.) The best argument against economic development. [stupidity] (1219934538|%O ago)
- City: City (n.) 1. A large urban center that is built by successive waves of upwardly-mobile immigrants and run by generations of political elites that hate immigrants. 2. A large collection of buildings maintained at expense to be optimal homes for cockroaches and rats. [power society trade] (1212945815|%O ago)
- Civilisation: Civilisation (n.) An extended holiday. [epicfail oil] (1221643921|%O ago)
- Clickfraud: Clickfraud (v., n.) Refers both to the act of, and the person who commits the act of, dropping names and references in email, without explanation, knowing that readers will have to use Google and/or Wikipedia to understand. [confusion troll] (1213027388|%O ago)
- Coffee: Coffee (n.) One of the four essential elements, together with alcohol, music, and sex. [sex] (1219934385|%O ago)
- Collective intelligence: Collective intelligence (n.) A tautological nomenclature that falsely suggests there are other kinds of intelligence. [mind society truth] (1212945515|%O ago)
- Committee: Committee (n.) An organizational structure designed to prevent distressing amounts of initiative and change. [groups stupidity] (1220617373|%O ago)
- Compromise: Compromise (n.) That satisfactory state of affairs whereby the weaker party has sensibly agreed to the demands of the stronger. The ideal compromise involves giving nothing and getting everything. [violence] (1212916946|%O ago)
- Computer: Computer (n.) A convenient place to store all your precious data, before it crashes. [technology] (1219934496|%O ago)
- Consciousness: Consciousness (n.) That part of the mind that thinks it is in charge, and convinces other minds that there is someone home, and the lights are on, while the rest of the mind gets on with the real work of doing everything. [confusion mind] (1212944224|%O ago)
- Copyright: Copyright (n.) An ancient form of property protection invented by medieval monks to prevent people from copying their hand-written books. In modern times, copyright is what you infringe when you use the Internet. [economics internet mind] (1212944340|%O ago)
- Cosmetic surgery: Cosmetic surgery (n.) A form of body modification whereby humans pay for physical alterations to make them look younger and/or more sexually attractive. [female male marketing pain] (1213032378|%O ago)
- Crash: Crash (n.) The sound of a bubble bursting. [epicfail money] (1222601212|%O ago)
- Darwin: Darwin (n.) One of the two gods of survival along with Newton. [darwin newton] (1224328895|%O ago)
- Death: Death (n.) 1. An irrecoverable crash, resulting in full data loss. 2. The point in which a player is removed from the game. [epicfail] (1219934612|%O ago)
- Democracy: Democracy (n.) An imaginary form of government in which the will of the people is expressed through a series of so-called "elections". [power] (1212945622|%O ago)
- Derivative: Derivative (n.) Maths used as economic warfare. [greed violence] (1221640640|%O ago)
- Diary: Diary (n.) A type of virtual Bitchtorrent peer invented by a frustrated teenage girl. [communications female] (1242806784|%O ago)
- Disease: Disease (n.) The undesirable state of being a microbe's lunch buffet. [darwin disease] (1222599846|%O ago)
- Economics: Economics (n.) An attempt to explain the world in large or small in terms of the physics of money. [economics] (1212945009|%O ago)
- Employment: Employment (n.) A form of slavery that is better than most of the alternatives. [money] (1219934727|%O ago)
- Ethnic: Ethnic (adj.) A label applied to a foreigner as a kind of politically correct racism. [culture] (1212925451|%O ago)
- Ethnic food: Ethnic food (n.) Food eaten by relatively poorer people who are either immigrants or the descendants of slaves. Can be contrasted with "haut cuisine", which means "food eaten by expatriates". [culture fashion food] (1212925665|%O ago)
- Expatriate: Expatriate (n.) A socially desirable and/or rich person seeking a better life in a new country. Contrast with immigrant and foreigner. [money power] (1212916276|%O ago)
- Expert: Expert (n.) Someone who is insufficiently ignorant. [intelligence stupidity] (1218885289|%O ago)
- Expiry date: Expiry date (n.) When printed on a packet of perishable goods or medicines, means "date by which to send to poor countries as aid". [food] (1212944280|%O ago)
- Fashion: Fashion (n.) The process of imitating those better than us and distancing ourselves from those beneath us, by adopting new memes of dress, speech, manners, or lifestyle. [confusion fashion marketing pr0n] (1212924546|%O ago)
- Female Orgasm: Female orgasm (n.) During sexual intercourse, an unfakeable indicator that the male is capable of giving women intense pleasure. [] (1262704881|%O ago)
- Feminism: Feminism (n.) The belief that women can be free only by being more masculine than men. [female power] (1220617550|%O ago)
- Fishing: Fishing (n.) A sport that unites the world's richest and poorest in pursuit of the same aquatic prey. [food sport] (1220618822|%O ago)
- Football: Football (n.) A primitive form of soccer. [sport] (1220618925|%O ago)
- Foreigner: Foreigner (n.) A non-local of undetermined social status. [culture fashion power] (1212916406|%O ago)
- Freedom: Freedom (n.) The capacity of an individual or group for exchange of goods, services, knowledge or information with others, publicly or privately. [economics] (1212779369|%O ago)
- Free Trade: Free trade (n.) An ideal economic system in which the powerful are free to define the terms of trade. [economics] (1220617813|%O ago)
- Free will: Free will (n.) The confusion of correlation with causation. [beer you] (1219934356|%O ago)
- Friday: Friday (n.) One of the greatest achievements of the modern trade union movement. [beer] (1220617873|%O ago)
- Gangster: Gangster (n.): A rich boyfriend, but a poor husband. [gene male power] (1242560551|%O ago)
- Gene: Gene (n.) Tiny, without mercy, and in charge. [sex] (1219934427|%O ago)
- Genocide: Genocide (n.) The convenient elimination of a middle class by poor rural thugs organized by a cynical political elite. [violence] (1212920735|%O ago)
- Girlfriend: Girlfriend (n.): a female companion that young men must acquire by fifteen to avoid strange looks. [gene] (1242560477|%O ago)
- Government: Government (n.) A social structure that regulates trade and punishment. [ethics] (1222599597|%O ago)
- Guilt: Guilt (n.) An illogical regret at having gotten away with it. [stupidity] (1219934671|%O ago)
- Half-life: Half-life (n.) In technology, the regular period in which the production cost of a technology or product will fall by 50%. [space technology] (1213797383|%O ago)
- Hell: Hell (n.) The first invention of any organized religion, following the basic technique of mass marketing that to sell a product you must first scare customers into wanting it. [marketing power] (1212917580|%O ago)
- Hero: Hero (n.) A powerful man who has successfully hidden all his vices and weaknesses. [people] (1222599790|%O ago)
- History: History (n.) (1) A series of lessons we are determined to forget as soon as possible in the search for our own self-created reality. (2) A series of fictions written by the winners to explain why the losers really deserved all the unpleasant things that happened to them. [epicfail power] (1212917057|%O ago)
- Housing Market: Housing Market (n.) The only market where governments deliberately create inflation. [economics] (1222602207|%O ago)
- Immigrant: Immigrant (n.) A socially undesirable, poorer person seeking a better life in a new country. [prison] (1212915638|%O ago)
- Insurance: Insurance (n.) A form of gambling in which the house always wins, even if it burns down. [money] (1220618713|%O ago)
- Intelligence: Intelligence (n.) The ability to design complex and subtle tests to detect intelligence. [mind] (1212944977|%O ago)
- Internet: Internet (n.) A bunch of tubes, run by pirates, which strangled the music industry. [communications mind] (1212945746|%O ago)
- Investment: Investment (n.) A form of wealth redistribution in which the rich convince the middle class to hand over their life savings in exchange for a temporary adrenalin rush. [money stupidity] (1221639661|%O ago)
- Journalism: Journalism (n.) A form of fiction in which the lies are well disguised. [fiction] (1219934782|%O ago)
- Life: Life (n.) A game in which most of the game consists of discovering the rules, and then realizing that everyone loses. [epicfail] (1222599675|%O ago)
- Love: Love (n.) A blinding smugness emanating from one's genes when they think they have found a perfect match. [genes] (1222599954|%O ago)
- Male: Male (adj.) That gender destined to ultimately be replaced by a computer program. [stupidity] (1241337739|%O ago)
- Marketing: Marketing (n.) The art of convincing people they need something do not, while getting them to pay as much as is possible. [confusion fiction marketing money] (1213050074|%O ago)
- Mathematician: Mathematician (n.) A kind of programmer who never makes mistakes, so needs no computer. [mind] (1222700236|%O ago)
- Monday: Monday (n.) Invented in the middle ages by sadistic priests who felt that anyone having fun on a Sunday deserved to suffer the next day. Not to be confused with hell. [pain] (1213050182|%O ago)
- Money: Money (n.) A token representing a share in a social contract between state and citizen. [money power] (1221662618|%O ago)
- Monopoly: Monopoly (n.) The resting point of unchecked corporate interests. [money power] (1222599241|%O ago)
- Morality: Morality (n.) In which enjoyable behavior is banned so as to leave more for those in charge. [power] (1212917763|%O ago)
- Motherhood: Motherhood (n.) In which a woman gives up the stress and loneliness of a career for the comfort of family and children. Considered to be a state of failure by many feminists and politically correct thinkers. [female power] (1220617741|%O ago)
- Music: Music (n.) Acoustic vibrations that resonate pleasurably with the brain. [mind] (1222599722|%O ago)
- Negotiation: Negotiation (n.) The art of saying you don't want it, and even if you did, you aren't the one who decides. [power] (1219934703|%O ago)
- Oil: Oil (n.) The remains of ancient bacteria, conveniently liquefied and converted to pure combustible hydrocarbons. [oil] (1222601578|%O ago)
- Open Source: Open source (n.) A form of software written cheaply by young often unpaid programmers, packaged by large businesses, safely patented for its own defence, and then sold at significant profit to major firms, in the form of "support licenses". [money patents software] (1238081530|%O ago)
- Optimist: Optimist (n.) Someone who either understands that life is pointless, or hopes that it is. [you] (1221643740|%O ago)
- Panic: Panic (n.) The realization that the bear is catching up on you. [food] (1221639530|%O ago)
- Panic attack: Panic attack (n.) The moment when you realize your place in the Universe. [importance you] (1219931981|%O ago)
- Parent: Parent (n.): An adult with an offspring, who dedicates an hour or more, every day, to that offspring. [sex] (1219774003|%O ago)
- Patent: Patent (n.) A medieval economic tool by which politicians attempt to stimulate trade and wealth by banning innovation and competition in crucial areas of technology. [confusion disease power] (1212944528|%O ago)
- Pension: Pension (n.) Something your parents got. [greed money] (1221640677|%O ago)
- Pessimist: Pessimist (n.) Someone who fears that life does have a point, but does not get it. [you] (1221643863|%O ago)
- Planning: Planning (n.) In which a central authority, already many years behind the facts on the ground, tries to allocate essential resources on the basis of belief and hope. [stupidity] (1212918154|%O ago)
- Population: Population (n.) Other people, of whom there are always too many. [economics ethics stupidity] (1219740747|%O ago)
- Pornography: Pornography (n.) Also, "porn", "pr0n". A super-stimulus that exceeds the bounds of polite society. [pr0n] (1212920534|%O ago)
- President: President (n.) Like a king, but without the burden of history. [power] (1222599822|%O ago)
- Privacy: Privacy (n.) The protection of data, information, or knowledge goods held and owned by an individual or a group, including physical, technical, or legal exclusions that defend that protection. [economics ethics power] (1212782334|%O ago)
- Promises: Promises (n). "I love you", "Your check is in the post", "I'll call you", and finally "I promise not to sue you". [lies money power] (1238089215|%O ago)
- Racism: Racism (n.) An over-identification with one's extended family, usually combined with low collective self-esteem, which leads one to dismiss members of other extended families as more or less sub-human. [fear power] (1212916080|%O ago)
- Random: Random (adj.) Measured with insufficient accuracy. [chaos truth] (1219954189|%O ago)
- Reality: Reality (n.) That which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. [confusion mind] (1212945040|%O ago)
- Recession: Recession (n.) A shocking, sudden collapse in economic activity after only years of clear warning signs. [epicfail money] (1224329184|%O ago)
- Religion: Religion (n.) The means by which a generally logical mind survives in a world with an over-abundance of unknowns. [confusion logic] (1212917647|%O ago)
- Saints: Gods (n.) Modern thinkers recognize four principal saints: Darwin, saint of the necessary accident; Newton, saint of necessary accidents involving motorbikes and fast cars; Streisand, saint of the freedom of speech, and Sturgeon, saint of life mostly sucking. [religion] (1238107200|%O ago)
- Sex: Sex (n.) An agreement between two sets of genes to enter into negotiations with the eventual goal of mutual reproduction. Also known as "more of me". [economics sex] (1212945955|%O ago)
- Silence: Silence (n.) The sound of something really terrible just about to happen. [epicfail] (1221652983|%O ago)
- Society: Society (n.) Equal parts of beggar, baker, bureaucrat, and bandit. [society] (1212945389|%O ago)
- Software: Software (n.) The expression of human stupidity in computer-executable form. [stupidity toys] (1221644056|%O ago)
- Spirituality: Spirituality (n.) A state of mind whereby an individual successfully ignores all inconvenient evidence and facts. In the perfect spiritual state, the real world ceases, temporarily, to exist at all. [confusion] (1212920647|%O ago)
- State: State (n.) Generally, "the State" refers to a ruling national authority. [violence] (1232137790|%O ago)
- Strugeon's Law: Sturgeon's Law (n.) The more famous of deceased sci-fi author Theodore Sturgeon's two popular laws explains that 90% of everything is crap, and thus it is pointless to attack the 10% by pointing to the crud. [crap society sturgeon] (1212945315|%O ago)
- Sturgeon Filter: Sturgeon Filter (n.) That part of a social architectural process that keeps the 90% of crap out. Lack of a Sturgeon Filter explains the problems that many organizations have when they grow. [crap society sturgeon] (1212783130|%O ago)
- Success: Success (n.) A temporary stay of defeat. [epicfail] (1220617952|%O ago)
- Survival: Survival (n.) The art of so far, so good. [epicfail] (1222599648|%O ago)
- The Market: The Market (n.) For politicians, something to play with much as a teenage psychopath plays with a puppy. For small businesses, something to try to build despite the predations of politicians and their crony friends. For consumers, the Invisible Hand that pushes them to buy yet another strawberry slushie. [economics trade] (1212944661|%O ago)
- Theory: Theory (n.) An analysis that can never be entirely right, but can be entirely wrong. [stupidity] (1222700096|%O ago)
- Time: Time (n.) The difference between yesterday and tomorrow. [chaos] (1221644314|%O ago)
- Tolerance: Tolerance (n.) Acceptance of self. [you] (1222291634|%O ago)
- Train: Train (n.) A long tube filled with seats and loud people. [people] (1219934458|%O ago)
- Truth: Truth (n) That which, when the lies and inaccuracies are removed, remains. [truth] (1219954285|%O ago)
- Unemployment: Unemployment (n.) A type of social exclusion that is worse than some forms of slavery. [money society] (1219934746|%O ago)
- Uniform: Uniform (n.) A clothing statement made by an organized gang preparing for explicit or implicit violence. [group violence] (1212916484|%O ago)
- Unirail: Unirail (n.) A category of person with a one track mind. [communications confusion] (1213027735|%O ago)
- Urldumper: Urldumper (n.) A person who sends URLs to mailing lists with no further explanation. Pronounciation: like 'Girldumper" without the "g". [confusion troll] (1213027528|%O ago)
- Us: Us (n.) Everyone except you. [you] (1220617172|%O ago)
- War: War (n.) In tribal societies, an excuse for older men to send younger ones to kill and die so that there are more females to go around. In modern societies, an extension of the global trade system, in which countries that refuse to accept a fair trade deal are bombed. [power trade violence] (1212924129|%O ago)
- We: We (n.) Everyone except you. [society you] (1217681661|%O ago)
- Wealth: Wealth (n.) In financial terms, assets that one can demonstrate only by spending, and thus losing, them. [marketing money] (1217681633|%O ago)
- Woofing: Woofing (n.) The canine command-and-control language that men use to self-organize. As in the common female complaint, "he's Woofing, instead of listening to me". [communications male] (1242806722|%O ago)
- Zebra: Zebra (n.) An African wild horse, especially skilled at hiding, from lions, among other zebras. Edible. [food group] (1212916463|%O ago)
